Getting Educated: Society's Hazing Process

Before I begin, let me just assert that I'm a huge proponent of liberal arts educations. I could go on about this for quite some time, but I'd lose the remaining viewer in my ADD-ridden, Ritalin-snorting audience. If you want to be more convinced of the fact that being educated is a good thing, you may be an idiot, but just read this anyway.

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The ironic thing about the education process is that, for the most part, it never really teaches you anything practical.

Trigonometry doesn't help me write these blog posts, neither does a solid understanding of the themes conveyed in Chaucer, and I'll bet you that my being a laboratory hazard for a semster while taking Chemistry for a semseter isn't going to help me any big job interviews. Honestly, I'm just glad I never caught on fire from any of this stuff.

The reason that you need to go to school to succeed at not being homeless today, is because it is, for all intents and purposes, our society's hazing process.

In order to work in a powerful business establishment, know this: your boss will most likely have not only gone to college, but grad school too. If you think they're going to let someone, who didn't wear the proverbial barbie playhouse backpack of education, take power in their business, you're obviously an idiot.

Getting an education also allows you to relate to people that you'd want to be able to relate to. I bet you that I could probably have a great conversation with Bill Gates about how high school was a four-year long shit taco of social awkwardness, horrible acne, and being surrounded by tremendous dicks (shout out to Packer Collegiate Institute! Go Pelicans!), though I probably wouldn't use exactly those terms around him.

The unspoken thing about education, is that you've literally paid your dues by attending school, or at least your parents did. As they say, you have to spend money to make money, and with the cost of a solid education today, that's never been more true.

Really, though, when it comes down to it, the most important part of your having an education is the ability to point at your degree, PhD, or whatever, turn back to your colleague and say, "yeah... that Mr. Nooks... from back in high school... kind of a douche."

They'll nod understandingly, recount their own familiar story, and you'll be on your way.