The Top Five Real-Life Situations Akin To Playing Poker While On-Edge

To be on-edge, in a poker sense, essentially means to be seriously pissed off... while playing poker.

Do you remember how upset you were when you found out that Arrested Development was being cancelled? Ok, now imagine trying to make smart gambling decisions (if there are such things) while you're in that kind of state.

To say that playing poker on-edge is a bad idea is about equally as obvious as stating that buying used sex toys on Craigslist is sketchy (and a great way to acquire any VDs you haven't hauled in yet).

To further prove my obvious point, let me give you the top 5 most similar actions to playing poker when you're not in your happy place:

5. Hunger-Induced Raw Chicken-Eating

Now, of course, I can't imagine that many people see a carton of raw chicken and think to themselves, "Oh wow! Extra-special, poultry sushi!" However, let's say you've got some chicken on the grill, and it looks pretty good and charred on the outside. You bring it to the table, and as you being to quaff your meal, you notice that the meat is sort of pink on the inside.

Now, in a parallel poker situation, if you're dealt pocket kings (good-looking, tasty grilled chicken in this equation), and you see that someone might have hit a pair of aces on the flop, it might be time to at least dial back the betting a bit.

Essentially, if you're cooking hungry, or on-edge in this situation, your decision will probably lead to a sore stomach no matter what; whether you've recently acquired salmonella poisoning, or have recently seen your pocket kings beaten by ace-two offsuit.

4. Disagreeing With Your Girlfriend/Fiance/Wife in Front of Their Friends/Anyone

No matter how angry you are, no matter how right you might be, just remember: if they're not happy, you're not happy. Giving in to your desire to complain about how your Sunday football game-watching is being disrupted by their friend's birthday get-together is kind of like playing seven-two, because you're not going to win. Of course, while you lose money by playing bad hands while on-edge, you actually gain a spot on the couch in this situation.

3. Telling Your Boss That They Can Kiss Your Ass In Lieu Of Taking A Night Shift

In this economy, holding onto a job is oftentimes the better idea in this situation, even if it means burning the midnight oil for no good apparent reason. Perhaps you could simply tell them instead that you've already made plans, or that you're getting married to form the plot for an awful movie (although I guess she was doing to keep her job rather than get deported, but still...)

2. Flipping Off A NYC Taxi Driver For Cutting You Off

Seriously, they're bad enough drivers as it is- not to mention, they're crazy! This is basically like playing pocket rockets heads up... against someone sitting across with you with a gun... or a car to run you over with.

1. Sex Without A Condom

Sure, you're probably not angry at the time when this happens, but still, your poor judgement most likely just got someone knocked up. In this case, with your decision making, poker is probably the least of your problems... but it's still a game you should avoid. You're going to need the money, if they're pro-life... for a plane ticket to Mexico.

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Current Bankroll: $4.60