The act of wearing glasses itself has definitely never made anybody any smarter. However, the perception still exists that wearing spectacles is a sign of intellectual prowess, or if you're Christian, the sin against God that is masturbation.
Anyway, whether you've incurred God's blinding wrath during your special alone time or not, glasses, up until rather recently in history, have actually served as a decent indicator of an individual's being slightly less of a dimwit, or at least literacy.
You see, the reason that glasses used to become necessary for most individuals is because of repetitive eye-strain that takes place when one reads on a regular basis. This is the reason why real "nerds" have glasses; spend enough time studying textbooks when you're a kid, and you're going to end up with the middle school ridicule magnet on your face sooner rather than later.
Being studious, however, is no longer a requirement to turn your eyes to crap. With video games, the internet, and consequentially, a ton of porn being as accessible and widely used as it is today, there are bound to be a ton of less than bright individuals who aren't exactly seeing 20/20.
To make matters worse, smart people are even more difficult to pick out in contemporary life because of contact lenses. It's a total mindfuck!
This is all going to get dangerous in 2012 if Sarah Palin decides to come out of political retirement to run for president. Barack Obama, is the first US president in history not to wear glasses, and if a glasses-donning George Bush can convince America that he's a competent leader, or even just competent, there's a chance that Miss Wasilla could do the same.
Anyway, now that I've got all of my US readers planning extended stays in Canada in the coming years, let me just conclude by saying that the ever-worsening eyesight of our human race is a great example of how pitifully decrepit most of us have become.
Those of you who have seen the movie Wall-E might recall how humans in the future are depicted as fat, helpless, and literally unable to walk. While, morbid obesity is on the rise, it should be noted that if we all go blind from checking our facebooks, twitters, and playing online poker 24/7, we will most likely be boned just as hard.
Of course, if we're all disgustingly overweight, blindness might just be the next step in human evolution. Who's gonna populate the earth if no one can conjure up an erection?
Oh, ok, this guy. We're saved.
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