So, Yeah, I'm Not Doing This Anymore

This announcement might break the hearts of all my readers but...

Hmm...

This announcement might break the heart of my reader, but I've decided that it'd be a good idea for me to discontinue this blog.

I'll be heading back to school soon, and when it kicks up, I simply won't have the time to commit to writing this blog or playing poker. Between my incredible popularity and stunning good looks, I anticipate that it'll be hard enough to keep my mob of adoring fans and would-be lovers off of me, even without the blog going.

In other words, it's not you- reader, it's me- and I'm just not ready for this committed of a relationship yet.

Perhaps our paths will someday cross and our love will spark and begin to burn anew. But mostly likely, you'll probably be that one girl in the cafeteria who I try to avoid making eye contact with, because we've done unspeakable things to each other, and are no longer so enthralled with our whip, chain, and goat-filled late night encounters.

And with that, I bid you safe travel fair interwebs. May your Hulu remain free, and your porn stay questionable.

- 0 and 1

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Total Earnings: $42.74

Feeling Better After Calling In Sick: Awkward

This morning, I woke up to find that my stomach was practicing some sort of a slam dance that would most often be performed in a mosh pit at a Slayer concert.

After informing my employer that I would not be making it in to work, I went back to feeling miserable for the next several hours.

However, after slinging myself over the toilet for a while, I began to feel a great deal better. Hooray for me.

Now what?

See, at about 11AM, I could get cleaned up, go up to the office, and put in about a half a day of work. But, is that the right thing to do?

The fact is that you still might be sick, and you could get others ill by going in. Also, you could very well go back to bed, and man does that ever look fantastic seeing as you're probably not sleeping enough as it is (yes, I am talking to myself in this sentence).

Anyway, today, I chose to stay in bed because I had to watch Wall-E again, since I was feeling too manly for my own good and had to cry once more so as not to forget how to do so. Or, perhaps, I've just become cold and unfeeling ever since Reddit shunned my blog and left no one to read this article.

Of course, sometimes this decision isn't so easy, and then you need to ask yourself the deciding question in this matter: If I lay here and gather filth any longer will I begin to look like this guy?

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Current Bankroll: $0.00