The Road to Obesity: Hamburgers vs. Hot Dogs

For those of you who don't know me well, let me explain to you who exactly I am. I'm from New York City, Jewish, very liberal, not religious, and I guess somewhat of a soccer enthusiast at this point.

Since not all poker players and dick joke enthusiasts are especially bright, I'd like to take this time to point out that the above facts do not necessarily make me un-American. Not entirely, anyway.

In hopes of accomplishing this, let me solve, for you, the classic American, red, white, and blue, pickup truck-driving question, "hamburgers or hot dogs?" After all, July 4th is coming up, so you'll be grilling them up in large quantities shortly. Then again, with the economy in the toilet, you might be lighting a fire in a trash can instead. If I get enough demand, I'll be writing a "grilled pigeon or squirrel?" article shortly.

Hot Dogs:

Pros:

• Quick cooking time
• Salty goodness
• Lots of inadequacy jokes possible
• What could be more American?

Cons:

• Made from the interesting parts of the pig
• Not entirely filling
• Kobayashi Syndrome (Skip to around the 5 minute mark for symptoms)

Hamburgers:

Pros:

• Ability to stack
• Cheese option FTW
• High Sink-Your-Teeth-Into-Meatocity Levels
• Very filling

Cons:

• Have become the prostitute to the sleazy pimp that is McDonalds
• Has been known to do food porn

The Verdict:

Gonna have to go with burgers here on personal taste here, though Vince Young seems to disagree.

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Soaking in the sun, playing some freerolls by the pool today. Results will be posted later.

Current Bankroll: $0.00