Nearly everybody has a friend, or, perhaps, not such a good friend who always seems to owe money. You know, that one guy you joke about sending bookies on to break his shins, but you're actually sort of thinking about doing it? Well, now the California government is essentially that guy for small business owners in that state, except you'd probably lose money on the bookies, since there would be a lot of well-guarded shins to get at.
It is being widely reported that by the end of July, the California Government will have issued $3 billion dollars in IOUs to small business owners instead of paying their invoices.
Of course, this will start up the blame game between the Republicans and Democrats about who's at fault for the deficit. Pick a side if you want, but it's probably a result of incompetence by all parties involved. Maybe they were all getting financial advice from Lenny Dykstra.
Anyway, in an effort to reach out to my Californian readers, allow me to provide you all some ways to make up the money that your government shorted you.
1. Play online poker to make $50,000 from scratch. Just look at how well that's working for me. (Current Bankroll: $0.00)
2. Find out how Flo Rida managed to blackmail the music industry into playing his horrible music. Seriously, have you heard that "Right Round" noise-thing? How is that making money?!?!? It sounds like a one of those little inbred handbag-dogs being put out of its misery by an accidental, decapitating ride in the laundry machine.
3. Apparently, not porn.
4. Isiah Thomas is coaching again. Sure you won't make money playing college ball at FIU, but I hear he needs a couple of million dollar ball boys. If Jerome James did it, so can you!
5. I propose a new hippie movement! Shared community, peace, and free love! Who needs money? What could possibly go wrong?
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Current Bankroll: $0.00
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